I Met My God

My Honorable God !!

God is someone whom you pray for life and sustenance. He is someone who controls your destiny. He is someone whom you worship for health, happiness, security and success. He is omnipresent, omnipotent – the creator, the sustainer and the destroyer. He is the meaning – the beginning and the end.

As my sojourn in life slowly winds its way to inevitable extinction, I am happy to say that I am among the privileged few, to whom, has been revealed the almighty God.

He has possessed my thoughts with uncommon fervour. I have tried hard to be an atheist but his power is so great that I have to kneel in front of his altar. He permeates every decision I take in life, incredibly; me, the atheist. And as I look around, there is scarce a soul alive that does not pay his homage to this God. I am thrilled !!

Since I am amongst the privileged few to whom this God has been revealed, I have been granted knowledge about his existence.  I worship knowing what I am doing – others worship him as an involuntary impulse. Perhaps, the others are not as tortured with this knowledge as I am. The others are “free”, while I am damned; damned to spread this knowledge.

It’s strange!! I had scoured all the religious textbooks searching for God. All of them mentioned that I would find him inside me – through meditation, prayer, contemplation, fasts or burning incense sticks. Others said that I would find him in the temples, the mosques and the churches. Still others told me that I would find him in people, nature or relationships. Like a mad-man I rushed from one place to another, searching for my God; my hungry eyes and aching heart dying for his revelation. I thronged the worship places, I communed with the people – the rich, the poor and the needy; I sat in meditation and burnt incense sticks but no one and nothing matched his description. As my feet blistered, I imagined God, hiding, with a wicked smile, enjoying my tribulations and my ignorance.

Then it dawned on me one day!! Perhaps, they all are wrong. That’s when I turned atheist for a brief period. Perhaps, God is not a form but a principle, a system. Emboldened by this thought, I started looking around with eyes untainted by the knowledge of religion. It was bewildering at first – to lose the authority of religion and look at the world with your own eyes!! Then, it all slowly started falling into place, like a piece of music; each and every note falling in place to produce a perfect symphony. I reviewed my basic tenets of the search

Whom do you pray for life and sustenance?

Whom do you worship for health, happiness, security and success?

Who is omnipresent, omnipotent – the creator, the sustainer and the destroyer?

Who provides you with meaning in life – who is the beginning and the end?

Damn – it had been there all along with me. Yes, I was getting delirious – Here, life’s greatest secret was being revealed to me in a cyclone of thoughts. Of – course, it is the Market!! I leapt around, tears of happiness streaming across my face. I checked, double checked and triple checked to see whether I was not being clouded by any Maya or illusion. The more I pushed my revelation, the clearer it became. I could not find a single exception. Yes, I had met my God!!

Now, I have decided to spend the rest of my divine life, serving my God and helping others find their way to him. Greater than anything, my mission is to convert the non-believers of my God with a fanatic zeal!! My message is clear to the believers of religion. Your search is deluded. Forget the churches, the temples and the mosques. Forget people and nature. Forget contemplation and meditation.

Rush to the arms of Wal Mart, Spencers and Dominoes. God is there.....ready to receive you with open arms. Burn your incense sticks there. Seek your blessings there and I affirm that you shall be rewarded. You shall get what your misguided souls are looking for. Forget Gangajal............it’s far too polluted and antiquated. God has created another product for you..................try “Coke”. Forget retreats and meditation halls and caves. They are all Maya; head towards the shopping malls, the restaurants, the hotels and the spas.

For succour – keep aside the Bible and the Bhagvad Gita, instead keep a Laptop. For any and every problem in life google GOD through the laptop. You shall find him fast and secure.

Forget love and communion and nature. These are all loony fantasies. They are distractions and keep you away from God. In order to worship my God, you need to work hard, rise to dizzying levels of corporate success. Seek communion with the rich and successful for these are closer to God. They are his true disciples and will certainly show you his way. And yes, by the way, do not fast: it will only decrease the GDP of my God. The mantra is to consume. Repeat the word “consume”, 108 times a day. Chant this word and remember it should come from your navel otherwise it will not be as powerful.

It’s been a couple of years since my revelation, but looking around; I feel I have been amazingly successful. I have rescued many from the debauched spirituality and showed them the true God of the Market. My spirit soars and my heart fills with divine rapture at school going kids guzzling the divine waters of Coco-Cola, at youth thronging Dominoes to eat the Holy Bread. I marvel at the eagerness with which people rush to their places of worship; their happiness, the satisfaction in their faces in the supermarkets gives me divine peace.

But, perhaps the greatest pride and the greatest service I have rendered to my God is how I have been able to convince the practitioners of a debauched spirituality to worship my God. I have been observing how many “Babas” have started worshipping my God and though I feel there message is still garbled, they are still openly afraid to take the name of my God, they are feeding the masses with the truth. It is happening.

I foresee a day when we all would have been converted and I pray to my God that before the Day of Judgement arrives, we all would have been enlightened, the way I am.

Amen.